Kids and Chores...Part 1

Chores.  Kind of a rotten little word, but a necessity if you ask me. In my house, “If you can walk, you can work.”   

Kid Chore DON'T:  "Now that you are fresh and clean out of the bath little buddy let's get the bleach and you can scrub the toilet."

Before you call Child Protective Services, please note, I did not force my then one year old to mop or do toilets but he had to pick up after himself.   

“Help put the toys in the bin!” You’ve said it before! Voila, you’ve given your child ‘chores’ without even knowing it.  

Kid Chore DO: "Now that we are done playing, let's put all the toys back away."

When I say my children are in charge of their own chores, I get looked at like I have ten heads.  Some parents are in awe of how I can get a child to do anything when asked and there are others who are horrified that I’m not letting my kid ‘be a kid’.  Please note…they are not ironing or waxing floors…promise! 

"Billy! Mind yer pleats!"

Taking care of your dishes at the end of the meal, that’s a chore believe it or not. The simple task (along with the act of labeling it a chore) is teaching your child responsibility and to follow through and some day when they are the ones in charge of a house full of laundry, dishes, etc it’ll be old hat. They’ve been doing it all along after all.

Chores your children do now really aren’t going to get your house clean.  I want to clear that up right there.  If you think you are going to have an extra hour on your hands because your two year old is now in charge of collecting the stray socks in the house and your five year old is helping unload the dishwasher…you are wrong. Your house will not suddenly sparkle with the addition of a few more little helpers…if you thought that blog post was going to make that happen…please stop reading now and click HERE.

You may ‘actually’ have more work on your hands…okay, not ‘may’ you will have more work on your hands.    

You will have to show them how to do their chores until it is a learned activity (just like everything else), you will guide them through it probably every day for at least the first few weeks (and this will depend on age/task, etc) but please…don’t give in because it’s taking to long for them to ‘get it’ on their own.   

You will have to remind them for some time until it becomes something they quickly know they need to do (which will happen…my six year old knew that when he got off the bus, he did his chores before he could play video games, no reminders needed).  It takes two weeks before something becomes a habit, and that’s with doing it EVERY DAY...which I know you...you'll forget a few times or the day will be too crazy and there will be no time for chores...etc etc...It'll take longer than two weeks. But it WILL HAPPEN.

So not only will you have to teach them how to do the chore and remind them to do them…you will have to clean up after them.  I know, I know…what’s the point of having my four year old make his bed if I just have to go back and do it?  Relax mom.  1. It doesn’t have to be perfect. 2. Let me reiterate, it doesn't have to be perfect. You can go back and remake it after your child is done if you REALLY need it to be perfect (but please please please don’t let them see you do this) and 3.  It is better to have your 4 year old learn to make his bed now then to have to beg and plead your 16 year old to at least put a sheet on it before the mattress walks out of the house and throws itself to the curb because it just can't stand its own stench anymore.  

If they make it...can they jump on it? 

By giving your child chores now, you are giving them a sense of responsibility that will follow through in other areas of their life.  If they can’t keep track of their toys now how will they learn to keep track of their homework when they get to school? You will be providing them a sense of ownership and pride.  They will know that they don’t have to rely on Mom and Dad all the time to take care of things for them, they can do it themselves…wow!  How awesome it is to provide that gift so early in life.  “My bedroom is clean and neat and that’s because I am taking care of it.”  

By giving your children chores early on, you are teaching them to grow up to be responsible and independent adults.  When those other kids are spending their first weeks at college wearing the same underwear seven days in a row because they don’t know how to do laundry and are waiting until the next weekend home for mom to do it for them…your kid will be clean, crisp and smell good…imagine that…smelling good in college…all because when they were three you had them help empty the washing machine and put the wet clothes in the dryer…go you!

Now...where to start.  Start off by making a list of chores that your child can do.  Below are a list of age appropriate chores to start you off.  All chores from the later age categories include the age appropriate chores listed prior...except the diaper.  Let's hope that gets dropped along they way and they don't need one at 14...

Ages 2 and under - get diaper when they need a change, put toys in buckets or bins, put dirty clothes in the hamper...

Ages 3 - 5 - help empty the dishwasher, help clear/set the table, make bed (aka put a pillow on it and pull comforter up), put books on bookshelf, water plants, take clothes out of the dryer, dust low furniture, put clean clothes in room, match clean socks, sort laundry by lights/darks...

Ages 6 - 9 - feed pets, tidy bedroom, empty trashcans, fold washcloths and towels, wash dishes...

Ages 10-13 - pack own snack/lunch for school, laundry - wash, dry, fold, clean windows, take trash to the curb, shovel snow, clean bedroom, mop floors...

Ages 14 - 17 - clean bathroom (toilet, sinks, shower), help prepare meals, mow the lawn...

Age 18 - Move out and take care of your own house with all the awesome knowledge you've learned over the years... ;) 

Ok, so now that you've got some examples of things your kiddo can do and what a realistic age appropriate chore is, start your list.  In Part 2 (coming later this week) we'll talk about what to do with those lists to get your kids on the road to becoming responsible, independent, awesome little people!! 

"Sharp pleats ironed into pants..."

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PS - I hope you all know I'm kidding about all the 'pleat' talk!